


Family man

by Donya



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Family Fluff, Fluff, FrostIron - Freeform, Humour, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-04 00:48:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1761049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donya/pseuds/Donya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki's four children come to the Stark Tower to meet their future stepfather. Tony is not excited, to say the least. He's not a family man but he is going to become one very soon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family man

It was a beautiful day until Loki announced he invited his children over, so they could meet their future stepfather. Tony had no idea which part of that caused an anxiety attack he was currently experiencing. The children, oh God, the gigantic serpent who would totally wrap itself around Tony to squeeze the life out of him, the wolf that would tear Tony apart, the half dead girl and the eight-legged horse, even one of them would be too much and Loki invited them all. If that wasn't enough to have a heart attack, _stepfather_? They never discussed marriage, what on earth did Loki expect?

'I-I am- umm- err,' Tony stuttered, just to say something other than _I don't want to meet your weird kids!_ 'I have so much work to do!' Yeah, that was safe, better than _stepfather???_  'I'll be in my workshop, the suits- umm- the gauntlets- I've got things to do! But you, you have fun with your- umm,' monster children, 'err,' dangerous inhuman creatures, 'kids.'

That went well, he totally hid his true feelings about his future stepchildren, Loki would never guess what he really thought about them.

He almost formed the _marriage?!_ speech in his mind when Jarvis kindly informed him he had guests, then mentioned that Loki requested/demanded Tony's presence. Well. He could spent one minute with little Lokis, hoping the serpent was not venomous. Yeah, what can happen in sixty seconds, he would survive that awful family reunion and excuse himself as soon as possible. Or run away.

Once he left the lift, Tony braced himself for a sudden attack but no beast tried to devour him or drink his blood, then howl to the moon. Loki was sitting on the floor, legs crossed, with an almost serene look on his face, undisturbed even by Tony's arrival. Maybe because he was focused on a group of toddlers that surrounded him. Light voices and tiny, plump bodies dressed in soft, pastel-coloured clothes- no claws, no fangs, no rotten flesh. Wait.

'Sleipnir, stop sucking your thumb,' Loki said to a blond-haired boy that obviously enjoyed the taste of his thumb. Two darker boys, the not-wolf and the not-serpent, desperately tried to destroy Tony's tablet, while the only girl, surprisingly cute and not decayed, tested a black pen on her forearm.

'Umm, Loki?' Tony raised his voice just slightly, he wasn't yelling, he was perfectly calm.

'Yes?' Loki asked innocently, that little shit, he must have known Tony was extremely disturbed by the presence of four toddlers in his tower. 'Hel, no, not on your hand, here, draw something here,' he gave the girl a black notebook- the one that contained Tony's personal notes. Of course.

'Loki, why are your children like this?' Tony specified his main concern. 'Human and little? Aren't they, like, adult?'

Before he answered, Loki took the tablet from his hellish sons, handed Sleipnir a blue ball, tied Jormungand's shoe and wiped Hel's arm.

'I didn't want you to start panicking- or joke about their true forms. Plus I like them as small children. Aren't they adorable?'

Fenrir kicked Sleipnir and grabbed his ball. Jormungand elbowed Loki, more or less accidentally, when he suddenly decided to get up and greet the stranger. Tony watched the serpent boy, who didn't smile or say anything, just glared at his possible future stepdad. Like a snake trying to hypnotise its prey.

'Hmm,' Tony stepped away from the odd child and took a look at Hel's drawing- a flower. She was drawing a normal, harmless flower, not dead bodies and flames.

'Come here, Tony, play with us,' Loki encouraged him and pulled up Fenrir's trousers, then smoothed Jormungand's hair. 'Let them know you.'

That was not what Tony had planned, he thought when he sat next to Sleipnir, the boy's chin was wet with drool, at least his name was wholly fitting. Hel forgot about her flower and stared at Tony, also without a smile.

'You look weird,' she informed him with a puzzling amount of disdain in her voice. Well. He did not resemble Asgardian warriors or her uncle but that was kind of hurtful.

 _Look who's talking!_ Tony snarled in his mind. Those kids had an attitude, that's for sure.

Loki grinned, pleased with their interaction and automatically wiped Sleipnir's face, then smeared the drool on his own shirt. Gross.

'What's so weird about me?' _You little witch!_ The pot calling the kettle black.

Fenrir got closer and bravely poked Tony's chest with his finger.

'This,' he pointed to the arc reactor. Jormungand nodded in agreement and in the next moment he was on Tony's lap, his tiny hands attempting to remove the reactor and examine it. Sleipnir took advantage of Hel's distraction and _borrowed_ the pen, just to chew on it and drool some more.

'Loki, your son is trying to kill me, do something!' Tony gasped out in desperation, pushing away Jormungand's fingers. It would be wrong to really shove the kid away, right?

'Just tell him what he's doing wrong, explain why he shouldn't do that.'

But that sounded like _raising_ a child and was more tiring than, well, running away from an evil toddler. Damn. Loki had the time of his life, watching Tony give Jormungand a lecture, while Sleipnir pulled Hel's hair and Hel kicked him and Tony. That was just too much.

'That's it! Stop!' Tony cried out, the kids froze, clearly no one had ever disciplined them before, Loki spoilt them rotten. 'Listen, Loki's children, do not touch my arc reactor because I need it to live. Do not kick anyone, especially me. Sleipnir, just swallow your spit, it's not that difficult. Jormungand, have you heard about personal space? Do not invade mine, ok? Fenrir, do not poke people like that, that's impolite. Hel, umm, nice drawing.'

Loki hummed in appreciation and beamed, while Tony awkwardly smiled at the very serious children. They hated him, obviously. Jormungand narrowed his eyes and wordlessly threatened Tony, Sleipnir ostentatiously kept his mouth open, so the saliva would wet his chin, Hel turned to Loki, ignoring Tony. Why, he praised her stupid flower.

'Excellent,' Loki patted Tony's leg, 'very good, I loved it. You're so good with children.'

What? Loki should have sensed the mutual hostility and jealousy, how could he be so blind? Tony pondered on that while drawing a wolf for Fenrir, a snake for Jormungand and a horse for Sleipnir (it came out a bit messy, those eight legs). Fenrir liked the drawing and showed it to Loki. Sleipnir decided to consume his. The snake child took the pen and corrected a few details, making the fangs longer and sharper. Another threat. And the questions, questions.

'Are you going to move to Asgard?'

'Do you like Mummy?'

'Where are your toys?'

'Why are you so shorter than Mummy?'

'Have you got anything sweet here?'

Somewhere between braiding Hel's hair (he pulled too hard and she hissed at him like an angry cat) and making a dozen of paper planes for the boys, it dawned on Tony. It was a test, wasn't it? To see how would Tony act around children? Those four were already adult, so there was no point in-

'Oh my GOD! Are you **pregnant**?'

Loki didn't even seem surprised as if he waited for that moment when Tony would see through his little lie. No one sane wants to turn their grown-up, independent kids into needy, drooly, whiny toddlers, and calling them _adorable_ \- that should have been the first clue.

'A bit,' Loki laughed nervously and looked at Tony hesitantly, unsure of his reaction. The kids glared at Tony accusingly, those little shi- umm- little ones knew very well what was going on, Loki must have warned them against saying anything about their future sibling. The fact that instead of being overjoyed about an unplanned half-mischief, Tony started hyperventilating and mumbling, 'Oh my God, oh my God,' only confirmed their assumption about the stepfather. Useless and weak.

After an eternity of panic, Tony forced himself to smile, it had to look more like a frown but he was doing his best and those four mean children did not make it any easier. Jormungand smirked, convinced that now Loki would return to Asgard for good, without that strange Midgardian.

'A baby, huh?' Tony sounded only slightly terrified. A tiny, constantly crying poop machine was going to join them and Tony knew he was bound to disappoint his firstborn. A bawling bundle of anger would not care about Tony's own fucked-up childhood and distant father. 'That's- umm- great.'

Loki sighed in relief, as though he was ready to disappear from Tony's life, together with their unborn jellybean-sized baby. How long had he been hiding the truth, scared of what Tony would say? They had never talked about creating a mini version of them both, why would they, always too busy having unprotected sex. Damn, Tony knew about Loki's special abilities but never thought he would get the god knocked up.

'I hoped you would say that,' Loki admitted, now finally relaxed and Tony's heart sank at the thought of his distressed Snowflake hiding the pregnancy. He considered getting angry about that obvious lack of trust but chose wisely to focus on Loki's feelings and pulled him in a tight hug. They accidentally pushed Hel, who lost her balance and almost fell on Fenrir. Rubbing Loki's back tenderly, Tony noticed Jormungand's evil eyes gleaming with fury. There, Tony totally stole his mischievous mother (father? with so many different kids it's hard to keep track.)

'Ok, I understand your train of thoughts,' Tony began when he had to let go of Loki, Sleipnir's slippery hands separated them, everyone there was so jealous,'but you could have brought just one kid, there's no need of having a whole kindergarten here just to break the news about the baby Stark.'

Loki's face flushed deep red and he gave an uncertain smile, looking very, very guilty. Hel laughed nastily, happy to see them that uneasy. Fenrir's curious hand found its way to the arc reactor, again, and Tony smacked it absent-mindedly. He had bigger problems now.

'Umm, aaah,' Loki groaned, once again letting Tony guess the truth.

'What? What does it mean?'

How many buns in the oven? Tony glanced around and counted the present toddlers- one, two, three, four. Loki invited them all. Four. _Four_.

'I'm having a heart attack!' Tony screeched dramatically and fell on his back, a very painful pressure on his chest turned out to be Jormungand, of course, that guy just never gave up. ' _Quadruplets_?'

Well, it wasn't that bad. In the morning he was afraid of becoming a stepfather and concerned about that marriage thing. Now those two issues seemed completely acceptable.

Quadruplets. An invasion of tiny Lokis. Four baby Lokis, thousands of diapers, endless crying, stress, stress, stress. Pride and knowing that whatever he would do, he'd still be a better parent than his father. He was the head of a terrifyingly large family, high time to man up.

'There's just one more little thing,' Loki whispered, stroking Tony's hair soothingly. 'You have to tell Thor.'

Perfect, just perfect.

 


End file.
